We all know our parents are going to die one day, but that doesn’t mean we’re not going to grieve when it happens.
If only it were that simple. Psychologists warn that the impact of losing your parents goes way beyond organizing the funeral and sorting out the will. It might be the natural order of things that parents die before their children, but the sheer inevitability is no cushion to the pain, soulsearching and sheer feeling of rudderlessness that so often happens.” The peculiar grief of the adult orphan by John Mangan in The Age 8 September 2013
“In an instant you no longer have someone around who recalls every minute of your life. Your personal historian, the last one who remembers everything about your life, even the early parts you cannot recall for yourself, is gone.
There will be no more stories of cute things you did when you were two or ten. You don’t get to feel like someone’s little girl anymore.
When I was 32, I went through a painful divorce. The day I told my mother about the divorce, she asked what she could do. I said, “Brush my hair?” I sat in the living room, at her feet, my head in her lap, and she brushed my hair … the same way she did when I was little and needed comforting … There’d be no more of that.” Adult Orphans – the secret group almost everyone joins blogher.com/adult-orphans 8 September 2009
Doris Zagdanski is the Convenor of MyGriefAssist website. She is a leading figure in modern day grief and loss education. She conducts educational seminars for both professional and community audiences. She has written several books in this genre.